World Cup 2010 Analysis

REALLY wish I were in South Africa for this.

I did one of these last World Cup on my Facebook profile. I know I primarily talk about technology on my blog, but, I’ve been waiting FOUR years for this. So here’s my analysis for each of the groups for the World Cup (only the GREATEST sporting event EVER).

Group A:
South Africa. Mexico. Uruguay. France. I would love to see South Africa advance, and although they’re the hosts with home advantage, they’re in a group with Mexico and France. Arguably two of the toughest teams with some of the richest futbol history. France barely squeaked into this World Cup with a controversial win against Ireland in the European playoffs (Irish supporting Tweeters were pissed that day! Let’s just say, Henry had a lot of haters). France and Mexico are definitely advancing, with France leading the group (I mean, come on, they have Henry).

Group B:
Argentina. South Korea. Nigeria. Greece. Okay, so, if you know me, you know I’ve supported Brasil since I was 8. So obviously I hate Argentina. Look, I’m a Barça fan, I love Messi, but, Argentina, you must die – in the first round. Tell me why this is the bandwagon team for World Cup 2010? Anyways, unfortunately, Argentina is good. Like, really really good. And Messi is amazing. I’m talking Fifa’s Player of the Year amazing. Luckily for all of us Seleção supporters, there’s one thing that’ll keep Messi from performing the way he does when playing for Barça: Maradona. He fails as a coach. Enough about Argentina. Greece- despite being Euro Champions of 2004, they failed at Euro 2008. They are not advancing. This brings us to South Korea and Nigeria. South Korea has had strong showings in the last decade or so and are arguably their regions strongest team. However, I feel that Nigeria has the potential to be the underdogs and surprise us. Argentina is obviously advancing, but so is either South Korea or Nigeria. Since I can only choose one of those, I’m going to go with Nigeria. Argentina will clearly lead this group. No question about it.

Group C:
England. Algeria. USA (USA! USA! USA!). Slovenia. Okay, so talking about Slovenia is just going to be a waste of space. On to teams that actually have the potential to advance. England for sure (though, I really really really REALLY want to see us kick some British ass on Saturday – see! I’m a patriot!). I do feel that Algeria is an underdog waiting to surprise the world. Many of their players are exported to some of the strongest European teams. I mean, Zidane (yes, THE Zidane. The legend), is ethnically Algerian, though he played for France last World Cup (and although some of you may think of him as the head-butter, those of us that love soccer/futbol know he’s ranked with the likes of Ronaldo – no, not douchenozzle CR7 Ronaldo every other girl goes crazy over, but, THE Ronaldo…the Brazilian legend Ronaldo…and Zidane could possibly even be ranked amongst the likes of…dare I say it?…Pele – yea, that’s right, I said it). The two teams to advance: England (I mean, with Rooney on their team, it’d be pretty sad – but I’d be happy – if they didnt), and USA. Despite what the world thinks about the United States, we’ve improved significantly over the last, many, years – and we’ve got a fairly strong team right now. I think we’ve got a legit shot at showing the world what we’ve got! Here’s to hoping for an epic upset, the likes of USA vs. Mexico in World Cup 2002.

I'll definitely have to go to Brazil for the next World Cup.

Group D:
Germany. Ghana. Australia. Serbia. Germany is the CLEAR favorite in this group. I mean, with a force like Ballack, how could they not be? No really, Ballack is a force. I’m convinced he channels Darth Vadar’s energy. Have you SEEN him play? Him, along with most of the German team, play so dirty. At least they did in the Euro. Germany also has a history of having a fairly strong showing at the World Cup. So talking about them anymore might get boring because we all know they’re going to advance. Talking about Serbia will be a waste of time, so let’s just end that here. Between Ghana and Australia, I’m going to go with Ghana advancing. But only because they had a strong showing at the last World Cup, and also because I’m mad I have to go to Australia during the World Cup instead of South Africa. I also don’t know a whole lot about the Australian National Team. So teams to advance in this group: Germany and Ghana with Germany unquestionably leading this group.

Group E:
Japan. Denmark. Netherlands. Cameroon. I really don’t know a lot about the teams in this group. I do, however, know that Eto’o plays for Cameroon, and he’s freaking amazing (not Messi amazing, but amazing nevertheless). Between the other three teams, I really don’t know a lot about Japan. I also don’t recall Denmark in Eurocup ’08. Teams to advance: Netherlands and Cameroon. Could be the Netherlands that lead, but, I’m going to go with Cameroon because they have Eto’o.

Group F:
Italy. Slovakia. New Zealand. Paraguay. God, it’s so obvious which team is the strongest. Italy (let’s hope there’s no more shit-talking resulting in head butts this World Cup – here’s to looking at you, Materazzi). Hmm, I don’t know much about New Zealand, and with teams like Italy and Paraguay, I really don’t see how Slovakia can slide through. Teams to advance: Italy and Paraguay with Italy obviously leading.

Group G:
Brazil (YAYYY!!!). North Korea. Portugal. Ivory Coast. Obviously, Brazil is the strongest in this group. They are also, perhaps the strongest in the entire World Cup. No words could do this team justice on the level of epicness they portray. Even if you’re an Argentina supporter (read: bandwagoner), you can’t deny, when Brazil plays, it’s like watching ballet on the soccer field. The Ivory Coast (or, Côte d’Ivoire), is definitely a team to look out for. Though they’re underdogs, they always put up a tough fight – at least based on past, recent performances. Unfortunately, with Portugal (in addition to Brazil) in this group (read: with douchecanoe Ronaldo…I mean, he IS a good player), I don’t see how the Ivory Coast can advance. And also, inquiring minds want to know, how the f*ck did North Korea even qualify for the World Cup??!!!!????!!?! No, seriously, WTF?! Though, I would love to see them advance, but only to see them play South Korea (now there’s a game that would need extra security). Teams to advance: Brazil (in other news, when looking up at the sky on a sunny day, you will notice that it is blue), and Portugal. No, you know what? I’m going to pick a less obvious choice: Ivory Coast. Brazil and Ivory Coast will advance. Side note: this is too obvious, but, Brasil is obviously going to lead this group.

PS: Isn’t Drogba playing for the Ivory Coast?

Group H:
Spain. Chile. Switzerland. Honduras. I supported Spain from the beginning during the Euro (despite people doubting/laughing at my support since Spain hadn’t won a Euro in 40 years prior to the last Eurocup). They’re Euro ’08 Champions, so they’re my favorite for this group (and likely everyone else’s). Spain’s roster also reads like a freaking who’s who of European soccer (Iniesta, Puyol, Pique, Casillas, Xavi, Ramos, Fabregas, Villa, Torres, jesus am I missing anyone? – this team will be unstoppable). And because many of their players hail from FCB, we’re going to be treated to their tiki-taka style of play. Hmm, let’s see, Chile is arguably the third strongest team coming out of Latin America. I have no idea how Honduras even qualified, so let’s just move on. Switzerland played like shit at the Euro. Teams to advance: Spain (obvi.), and Chile, with Spain leading this group